It feels good to be back to this space I have longed to revisit. Hope it is not too late to wish you all Ramadhan Kareem - the holiest month of all with abundance of blessing. It is the 20th Ramadhan 1438H today, and I just can’t believe how time flies so fast that we are already in the last 10 days of Ramadhan. Sad that it will soon leave us for another year, but I guess even with just 10 days left, there are plenty of things we can do to not leave Ramadhan with regret (again).
And, that’s why I am here. It has actually been a while since I had the thought of coming back to this space, but I just couldn’t pour my thoughts like I used to. I was listening to a talk/sharing in the car on our way to office this morning, and it hit me right to the best-est spot, that “Syaheeda, do not wait any longer. Just write”. I pray that Allah will protect me from writing aimlessly, and continue to bless me with good thoughts which will not only heal me, but also to benefit others. Say Ameen.
“Ramadan is like a reset button. He knows we’re looking to get rid of bad habits & refresh. It’s the best time to start on a clean state” – Mufti Ismail Menk.
MashaAllah! What a good way to start the day with such reminder. Truth is, I have been feeling so “occupied” for the past years that at times, I do feel like I needed a break and refresh. At times like this, we often resorted to something else to “distract” us. We went scrolling on Instagram, observed how people live their life and secretly wished our life is as great as theirs. In the end, it breaks us to a point we start questioning why Allah made us this way and start blaming every single thing that Allah has actually blessed us with; “Why can’t the kids behave well? Why can’t our spouse understand us better? Why is the office work so demanding? Why can’t money grow on tree?” and etc..
It is a disease (at least to me) that leaves us in an ever depressing state as we can never rationalize everything as we wished. We will want to reason everything, and demand for something in return when we thought we have given all we had. It will eventually exhaust us, consume our time, and affect our health at a point (Nauzubillahi minzalik).
No! Now tell yourself that you cannot be in such state anymore. We can do and feel much better if we put Allah first before others. Don’t make flawed human as reasons for us to be happy. Remind yourself that worldly matters will not last. At times when we feel hurt and sad, run to Allah, run calling His names. Take a short break of 5-10mins from our busy days and get Allah to comfort us.
And mashaAllah, Ramadhan is truly the best time for us to start doing this. Understand, we are all sinful human being and can barely remember when was the last time we cried talking to Allah, and suddenly want to ask for help? I did think like that at times, but no.. Allah is the greatest, that’s why He is the Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim. He loves us coming back to Him, He loves us to “date” Him, He loves us to rely on Him.
“When you become lost, find Allah and you will find yourself”
Allah is the ultimate source of peace and tranquility, may we find strength to repent and be closer to the Almighty especially this Ramadhan. We never know when can we ever return to Him, but I am pretty sure we all want to be back “home” in the most honorable way, knowing we have done so much for ourselves, our loved ones, family and the ummah. May our deeds and prayers are accepted, and may we be placed the highest rank in Jannah.
As I write the above, I realize it was all for me. I wanted to give my utmost best to perform my duty and responsibility towards others and hope they can have the best of me, but I find myself in despair as things are mostly tiring and disappointing. I didn’t do as much as I should for the past 20 days in Ramadhan and I kinda regret it. But all is well, I know this is Allah’s way of calling me back :’(
I pray that Allah will make ease in all matters and help us find our way towards Him. I do not want to live with regret, and I believe neither do you. Let’s make the best of the last 10 days, and may our worship be accepted and we will be blessed with His rahmah.
Ameen ya Rabbal Alameen.
Regards : Syaheeda Mohd Ghazali ;)